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Saturday, March 29, 2014

You had a few questions, I have a few answers...

In the last few days I received a couple of questions that thanks to the frenzy in my day job, I could not answer until today. Instead of replying the e-mails, I'm going to answer them here - because I know that more people must have similar questions...

Why you don't review more air dolls?
A: I don't review many air dolls because I am not a big fan of them. For me, air dolls are kind of boring - no change in position, many have faces that seemed to be drawn by 5 years old with Parkinson's Disease, and most of them are TOTALLY different of what you can expect by looking at the package (just check my review for the J-Ho doll).

The only inflatables that I recommend (and I keep in my collection) are either classic anime dolls which has been around for a while (Yumi anime doll, Serika, Kawai Rimi), kinky clear dolls (all Japanese), or high end inflatables like the Inked Sofia  which are great values if you can get them below $100. 

How many toys do you have? How much money had you spent?
A: Honestly, I stopped counting a year ago! I know I have 20 solid dolls (including torsos), and bins full of Fleshlights and other toys.

I have no idea how much money I have in rubber pussies, but I purchase about 95% of the toys I review. I only buy during big sales where I save at least 30% from the retail price, so a budget of $200 per purchase can go a long way!

Why do you use a mask for the video reviews?
A: Simple - I have a regular, conservative job. My employer would not like having one of its employees associated with discussions about masturbation, pornography, and sex in general, so I use the mask to protect my identity (and my job).

Which  is the best doll?
A: It is impossible to say which doll is the best because it depends on what you like and want. There are so many options in materials, sizes, looks, and weights that saying that ONE doll is the best is impossible.

Now, if you are new to the doll scene, I recommend the Meiki Plush Doll because it is not too expensive and allows you to use a wide range of toys as inserts.  If the Meiki Plush Doll and its lack of head, arms, and legs is too creepy for you, get either a plush doll (Teddy Babes or Anime) or one of the new Chinese TPE dolls. Silicone dolls are beautiful and realistic, but they are expensive, delicate, and heavy. It is common to see guys spending five or  six grand on a silicone doll, wait months for it and then selling it after a few weeks because they realize dolls are not for them.

Which one is the best toy?
A: Again, with so many options in the market, it is impossible to point at a toy and say it is the best one in the market. In my personal opinion the ToMax lines - Succubus, Lillith, and Venus - are the best options in the market. They are available with a variety of textures and with four different firmness levels. Add a relative low price (the most expensive are the Venus and they are below $60 in the USA), and you cannot go wrong.

Those dolls are expensive! Where can you buy them cheaper?
A: Believe it or not, there is an used doll market on the web - 15 of my dolls are second / third hand dolls! You can check on the biggest flea-market in the world - - under the Adult Only section or in the Sales sections of the two major doll forums: The Doll Forum and Our Doll Community. Looking carefully, you can get dolls in excellent shape for half or third of their resale price. Also, many vendors keep a presence in one or both forums, giving special prices to members on factory seconds (new dolls with cosmetic defects).

Are you married?
A: No, I am happily single. I have had a few relationships in the last few years, but they had ended for one reason or another (never related to my use of toys and dolls).

If you look like Jennifer Lopez, Asia Akira, Halle Berry, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lawrence, AJ Lee, or similar please send your photo and application to I will easily change my status!

No, YOU DON'T LOOK like Jennifer Lawrence!

Friday, March 28, 2014

RPP 3.5: St. Patrick's Green Lady Fleshlight (RPP #114)

Last Saint Patrick's Day, Fleshlight launched a closeout of their Green Lady Fleshlight with the Cyclone texture. The green sleeve is not my favorite - although I had always found She-Hulk kind of hot -, but the Cyclone texture was one of my favorites when it was available. The fact that it was sold at just $40 made the purchase an obligation!


The Cyclone was a mix of the Super Ribbed  and the Twista textures. Personally, I like both and them together was a dream. Like the Twista, the Cyclone tunnel started tight, then opened for a few inches and then tapered down as you went deeper. If you were a guy with a long cock, the variation of the tunnel was enough to take you to the heavens. Add an intense ribbed texture through the whole length of the tunnel and the experience became a religious experience.

Personally, I got two of these green pussies to add to my collection. Used with a mid-thickness lube, the Cyclone feels extremely natural, allowing for long sessions and powerful orgasms. Used with a thin lube like the Fleshwater lube, the ribs and the tightness simply made me cum pretty quickly with strong finishes.

If the Cyclone was so good, why was it discontinued? Well, it was a hit-and-miss texture. Depending on the lube you used, the suction would be stronger than the texture and you would only feel the tightness. If the lube was too thin, then the ribbed texture could be too strong to many people. Add that it was available as the Vibro series - an annoying sleeve series that was awkward to use with the vibrators. Eventually, the sales were not enough and the texture was discontinued.

Verdict: The Cyclone was a really good texture that did not receive the support from the Fleshlight fans. If you have a chance to get the texture as part of special promotion like this one, get it right away!

RPP Score:

Feedback: 4/5
Orgasm Buildup: 4/5
Realism: 4/5
Durability: 5/5
Value: 5/5

Total Score: 22/25

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

RPP 3.5: Fleshlight Girls Booty (RPP #113)

Joanna Angel was not the only Fleshlight Girl receiving recycled textures. Christy Mack got the Attack (aka Revel) and the Booty (aka Untouched) and yours truly decided to test Christy's Booty.

The texture did not received great reviews from the Fleshcrack addicts when it came out as the Untouched for a simple reason - it is not too intense. The alternate sized rows of pill-shaped bumps promised intensity, but after being lubed the sensations were limited to the tightness of the tunnel and not more else.

This is one of those tricky textures. You see a lot of bumps and your brain goes to the sensations from the STU, Nipple Alley, and other high intensity textures - but the Booty / Untouched is different! The bumps inside the Booty are flat, so the bumps are going to give you a gentle massage if anything. If you want to feel something, you need to use a thin lubricant.

I realized this after the first use, so I changed lubes and even then, the sensations given by the Booty are delicate. The texture allows anyone to enjoy the toy regardless of length and / or thickness, but even with the thinnest lube in inventory (Fleshlube Water), the texture is gentle. I can say the Booty felt good - so good I wanted to keep fucking it for hours as slowly as I could, which is exactly what I ended doing. Orgasms were strong and brutal, but be warned that they took a LOOONG time to arrive...

...And that was just the first cumshot...

Cleaning is easy, but remember to keep the sleeve under running water for a longer time than usual because cum and lube will get trapped between the pill-shaped bumps.

Verdict: The Booty is a gentle texture perfect for long, lazy sessions. It is so gentle, that I see it as a "mood" toy - I will use it sparingly, only for days when I want (and can) spend hours in a masturbatory session. It is recommended to users liking smooth and gentle stimulation toys. If you want intensity, stick with STU, Nipple Alley, and Destroya.

RPP 3.5 Score:

Feedback: 3/5
Orgasm Buildup: 4/5
Realism: 3/5
Durability: 5/5
Value: 4/5

Score: 19 / 25

Sunday, March 9, 2014

RPP 3.5: Fleshlight's Punk (Joanna Angel's Butt) (RPP #112)


I already reviewed Joanna Angel's FLG pussy with the Misfit texture - now it is the turn to check her ass... well, her Fleshlight ass.

Joanna Angel's butt toy has another recycled texture from the Fleshjack roster. This time, the Punk debuted earlier as the Charmer texture on the FJB lineup, but Joanna's butt is the only one in this texture if you can't deal with the idea of using a toy molded from a guy's ass.

Back to Joanna, the Punk texture is a good one. A ribbed canal with varying diameters, the texture makes sure that you will get stimulation no matter your length or your thickness. The ribs are not too aggressive, allowing for control over your session. Because the texture is a simple one, it is perfect to "play" with different types of lube and suction levels.

What do I mean with "playing"? Easy... Use a thick lube and close the case cap completely and the texture will feel almost smooth. Use a thinner lube and you will feel the ridges and the variations taking you to heaven. Want a real punk three-chord experience? Use a thin lube and remove the end cap and you will experience all the raw power of the ribs. 

Personally, I like longer sessions, so I used the Punk with a very slick lube (Lube Company Masturbator) with the end cap completely closed. It felt nice and close to real, making me explode hard and long.

She can punk me anytime...
As always, cleaning is easy with Fleshlights - just let water run through it and dry properly before storing.

Verdict: The Punk is a good toy to have in your collection. The texture allows for different sensations depending on the lubricant used and the degree of suction offered by the end cap. The texture is also available in the Fleshjack Boys line as the Charmer.

RPP Score:

Feedback: 5/5
Orgasm Buildup: 4/5
Realism: 4/5
Durability: 5/5
Value: 5/5

Total Score: 23/25

Sunday, March 2, 2014

My Favorite Porn Stars

Like every man in History, I like pornography. Sex toys had been around forever - there are primitive sex dolls and dildos found in Europe that are 30,000 years old - and porn had been its faithful partner since then. Images and carvings in stone resembling dicks and pussies had been found in caves used by our "great-times-23" grandparents about 40,000 years ago.

Fast forward a few thousand years and now we have plenty of porn available. Thanks to high-speed Internet access, now I can watch all the porn I want! The thing is that there are a few porn stars that I now recognize because their scenes always make my hand reach down to greet my Little Friend and choke him until he pukes. Who are those ladies? Let me tell you...

I discovered this MILF by accident after she had retired and made a comeback to porn. She is on her late 30's now and her looks, her perfect melons and a body that seems designed to be banged hard for hours are simply awesome.

Melanie Rios
What can I say? Petite, Colombian, a beautiful next door face, vicious cocksucker in a 5'3" frame... and thousands of free scenes on the tubes. Perfect!

Jynx Maze
Half Peruvian, expert cock sucker and owner of one of the best asses in the business. That's all I need!

Alexis Texas
A white woman with an ass?! Of course... she's part Puerto Rican! Alexis has the perfect body for porn and she had been using it to our pleasure...

Kristina Rose
Great ass, small tits, petite, and total slut. Add a cute face, a funny personality, and a willingness to do everything on the book. She is one of the most enthusiastic girls in porn, seeming to enjoy the often rough gangbangs she suffers on camera. Did I mention she has a great (and big) ass?

Asa Akira
Asian, hip, and a woman that is willing to do almost everything in her movies. Watch her movie "Asa Akira is Insatiable" and tell me how many nuts you bust during the movie!

Sasha Grey
Yes, she retired from porn a few years ago, but the legacy she left in hardcore film is eternal. Sasha is a multi-talented young woman (she's 25) and the scenes she made in about 5 years in the business are unique. Some are brutal, other have the mark of a extremely creative woman, but all make me hard as steel.

Maria Ozawa
Maybe the only JAV star that I can recognize on the spot. Beautiful face, great body, and wacky Japanese porn make a great combination. My favorite is her turn as "news reporter" in a bukkake news clip.

Well, there they are, my favorite porn stars! Now if you excuse me, I need to honor my name and greet my little friend again in the name of these ladies!